Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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