Having a random hookup so left but love u
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
