Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize