no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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