After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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