I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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