OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
