I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
