My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
