"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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