I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
