Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize