C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
my liver is dry heaving
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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