I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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