i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Mom said you looked used
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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