Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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