At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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