North Korea, Best Korea!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
