It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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