dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
and you fell through a lawn chair
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
