Im at strip club and am horny
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
