Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
