12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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