The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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