Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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