Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i've created a new STD.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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