Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize