sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize