I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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