Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
