Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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