His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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