Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize