return my video game
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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