ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
