And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
