The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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