don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
