Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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