Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
