Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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