You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
