that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My life is pants optional.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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