Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
