If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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