I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think i have two assholes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
