she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
