I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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