i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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