I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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