i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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