No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
