I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just invented taco cereal.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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