he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the raccoons are back...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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