is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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