I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
