I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
