Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
