I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
