And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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