i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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