mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
