last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
