Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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