Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
