I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
