Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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