4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
