Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
