bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
