i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
