maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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