would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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