You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize