chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
